1. Happy Birthday, Nate. Today’s starter is 32. Other notable Tigers birthdays today: Luis Gonzalez (42) and Steve Boros (73). (It’s also the birthday of my little boy!)

2. Catching up on Tigers Playoff Odds from Baseball Prospectus: We’re now looking at 68.86481 percent for a playoff spot. Inching up.

3. Here’s a piece I enjoyed. Titled “What The World Needs Now is Rob Deer”, Clayton Trutor at American Polymath.com explains why the good old-fashioned slugger needs a comeback. Here’s a hilarious nugget:
   

   In 1992, Deer put together the most outlandish home run to RBI ratio ever: 32 home runs, 64 runs batted in. Even on a bad team, like the ’92 Tigers, this shouldn’t be possible.

   He might not have Deer’s bulk, but perhaps Marcus Thames is this generation’s all-or-nothing guy?

Celebrate Nate! I might be the only person in the Tigers Fan Universe looking forward to Robertson’s return to the rotation. Ian?

Today’s Walewanders are fueled by Almighty Blend coffee from Ann Arbor’s Mighty Good Coffee Roasting Co., sent along by the aforementioned Mr. Casselberry.

• Confession: When the Tigers lose, I don’t read the game stories, I don’t listen to The Baseball Today podcast, I don’t seek out game highlights. Frees up a lot of time and I recommend it.
• Today’s game marks the last time the Tigers face the Angels in the regular season. That means you’ll have to wait until next year to hear Rod Allen gush over Torii Hunter.
• While we wait for Aubrey Huff’s bat to arrive from Baltimore, let’s review the performance of Tigers players that have worn #19 this decade:
  • 2009: Huff, .083, one RBI
  • 2008-09: Jeff Larish, .242, 6 HR, 23 RBI
  • 2005: Exavier Prente Nook Logan, .264, 31 stolen bases
  • 2003-04: Alex Sanchez .304, 63 stolen bases
  • 2002: Worn by hitting coach (and Flint native) Merv Rettenmund
  • 2001: Roger Cedeno, .293, 11 triples, 55 stolen bases
  • 2000: Juan Gonzalez, .289, 22 HR, 67 RBI.
• Brandon Inge’s tattoos. Methinks he’ll regret that decision when he’s 65. If not sooner.
• I don’t care that Ramon Santiago and Adam Everett are hitting a combined .247. Give me their defense and occasional base hit (or homer, as Everett showed today) over Edgar Renteria.
• Two homers in Oakland or not, I don’t want to see Ryan Raburn batting third ever again. Ever.
• Enough of the Magglio Ordonez bashing already. The Tigers had to overpay players to come to Detroit in 2004 and ‘05 and this is the (steep) cost of doing business. Live and learn. Though, the overpaying of Dontrelle Willis makes one believe the “learn” part of the equation needs more attention.
• Speaking of The Baseball Today, on this morning’s episode, host Eric Karabell says he can’t see the Tigers beating the Yankees or Angels in first-round series. It’s beginning to sound a lot like 2006…
• Marcus Thames isn’t on the 2010 Tigers, is he?
• As for the postseason, I’m dreaming of a Tigers/Rockies World Series – my two favorite teams, baby. Well, Tigers/Dodgers would be sweet, too. In fact, even sweeter. Never mind.
• The Porcello/Youkilis Summit seems like a distant memory and for that we should all be thankful. Here are the results of our recent Fungo Pulse Check poll in which readers ranked the brawls. The question: Tale of the Tape: Which Tigers Brawl Ranks as Your Most Memorable?
  • 1982: Dave Rozema’s Kung-Foolery (37%, 10 Votes)
  • 2000: Sixteen Ejected at Comiskey (37%, 10 Votes)
  • 1980: Al Cowens’ Payback to Ed Farmer (19%, 5 Votes)
  • 2009: Porcello v. Youkilis (7%, 2 Votes)

  Reader Ed reminded me in the comments here about the fight in Kansas City (was it 2001?) in which Jeff Weaver plunked Mike Sweeney. That’s when we all realized how much Weav’s teammates loved him…very little.

Finally, Happy 45th Birthday to Chad Kreuter — who also wore #19 (and hit .263 for Detroit from 1992 through ‘94).

The dad, possibly sauced, assuredly angry, took every opportunity to rip the Tigers’ DH that night, Gary Sheffield. His major beef was the wasted talent sitting on the bench in the person of Marcus Thames. His poor teenage son looked weary and sat mute as dad ripped Sheff — who, by the by, went 2 for 4 that night. In other words, at least four times he tore into Sheffield and twice he had to pull back a bit.

Until the bottom of the ninth.

That’s when Thames appeared from the dugout as a pinch hitter for Clete Thomas — and promptly shot a single to left. Even before Thames got to the plate the duo jumped — jumped! — into the cool evening air, missing each other with high-fives and spilling dad’s fifth beer. They became even more giddy with Thames’s single and, man, did pops lob a rapid-fire series of I-told-you-so’s toward Jim Leyland. Two hitters later, Cabrera went yard and the father and son went home vindicated.

With the news of Sheffield being jettisoned this morning, Marcus Thames is now the Tigers’ more-or-less regular DH and we’ll see if he really can hit 30-plus homers if given the chance. (Actually, I thought we learned last year that the Thames-as-Hank-Greenberg theory carried no weight, but I guess we’ll see…again.)

If you stayed with me through that circuitous tale, I owe you one.

Now, what to make of this roster move. I’ll admit it falls into that category of surprised but not surprised for me. I wanted Sheff to succeed in Detroit and thought he would. Even in 2009. The basis of my reasoning, at least in the past six weeks, were reports from Lakeland that he was scalding the ball again.

Or, as we learned today, not.

Either way, I tend to agree with Lynn Henning that getting Sheff was a wise move at the time. The Tigers had just lost the World Series and wanted to add another weapon to a lineup that slept through that painful week against St. Louis.

I don’t know that I agree with Henning that the Tigers will regret it later this season. The move was made for versatility reasons and, if that’s the story, then not having Sheffield clogging the DH spot and freeing-up more at bats for Jeff Larish and others is a good thing. Probably a great thing.

Yet, it’ll be interesting to see where Sheff lands. (My hope is that it’s not with the Blue Jays where he could hit #500 off Justin Verlander on Opening Day. Oy.) And can you imagine if he goes to the Phillies and underachieves? Think the Philly fans would be forgiving? Woo-doggie. And if the White Sox sign him, look out.

As the Tigers’ DH, Marcus Thames will make about $12 million less than Sheffield this year. But ultimately, the move was about giving the job to a younger guy who can produce at a higher level. The Tigers believe it’s Thames.

And I know of at least two fans who agree.

Here’s how Baseball Prospectus 2009 summed up Josh Anderson:

Now 26, he’s still nothing more than a fifth outfielder.

Nice.

Atlanta gets pitching prospect Rudy Darrow.

More to come, but three things come to mind:

1. Does this mean it’s the end of the line for Marcus Thames?
2. Why would the Tigers give up pitching for a fifth outfielder?
3. Is he insurance for the recuperating Clete Thomas?

What do you think of this move?

• Rob Neyer yesterday linked to this list of The Worst Contracts in Baseball and, no, the entire Tigers roster does not appear. But there is some significant Detroit representation: five lousy contracts. Take a peek for yourself. What do you think? How bad is it?

• With the positive reaction to Edwin Jackson’s Tigers debut last week I thought I’d check in on Matt Joyce’s Spring Training so far. And based on this, it has not been a good one — at least not yet.

• Happy Birthday to former Tigers outfielder Hiram Bochachica, perhaps the best name ever. He’s 33 today. On July 25, 2002, the Dodgers traded Bocachica to the Tigers for a player to be named later and minor leaguer Tom Farmer. The Tigers sent Jason Frasor to the Los Angeles Dodgers to complete the trade on Sept. 18 of that year. Frasor’s still hanging around as reliever for the Blue Jays.

• The no-brainer continues.

• I’ll admit that I was watching the Manny Ramirez saga more closely than I typically would. Why? Because I was bracing myself for Ken Williams‘ and the White Sox’s stealth swoop-in-and-sign. You know they were thinking about it.

• Of course I like Marcus Thames. Who doesn’t? I’d just rather see Brent Clevlen make the team this year.

Finally, a public-service message wrapped in a question. Since launching The Daily Fungo in 2006, I’ve been trying to avoid running the ubiquitous Google ads for two reasons:

1. No one likes them.
2. No one clicks them.

Now the question: If I were to drop some ads into the site — very few and very unobtrusive — would it bother you as a reader? I’m not sure that I am going go to bring in ads, but I wanted your thoughts. (If I did decide to run ads, don’t be afraid to click them.)

The Score: Tigers 5 – Orioles 1

The Gist: Justin Verlander dominated — 8.2 IP, three hits, three walks, three strikeouts — and Magglio Ordonez and Marcus Thames went yard to lead the Tigers to a series split against the pesky Orioles. Brandon Inge made the play of the week, if not the year, for the final out of the game (to save Todd Jones’s bacon).

The Quote: “One of the hottest days I can remember.” — Inge on the conditions at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, 96 at game time.

The Stat: 7. The number of points Gary Sheffield (.225) has over Inge’s batting average.

Up Next: Tigers @ Royals

Zach Miner (3-3, 4.23) vs. Luke Hochevar (6-7, 5.10)

The Score: Tigers 6 – Orioles 5

The Gist: Gary Sheffield went yard (almost twice), as did Marcus Thames and Brandon Inge, and Kenny Rogers pitched just good enough to win the opening game of the four-gamer against the Orioles. Magglio Ordonez went 1 for 5 in his return from the DL. In the eighth, Baltimore leftfielder Jay Payton robbed Sheffield of his second homer of the game. Todd Jones freaked everyone out for his 18th nearly blown save.

The Quote: “But like I say, `If you see something, say something.’” — Sheffield on his willingness to take hitting advice from, say, a former big-league star that Jim Leyland ran into in New York this week.

The Stat: 13. The number of baserunners Rogers allowed (11 hits, two walks) in six innings of work.

Up Next: Tigers @ Orioles

Armando Galarraga (7-3, 3.27) vs. Daniel Cabrera (6-5, 4.33)

The Score: Tigers 9 – Indians 2

The Gist: Justin Verlander was virtually unhittable — two hits, seven strikeouts over seven innings — and Miguel Cabrera showed serious muscle in going 4-for-4 with two homers as the Tigers rolled over the cratering Indians, 9-2. Marcus Thames hit a home run to right field — right field — on a swing that typically results in a homer only in backyard wiffle ball.

The Quote: “Last year, he weighed 25 or 30 pounds heavier and hit .400.” — Jim Leyland, dabbling in the art of exaggeration re: Cabrera.

The Stat: 8. The number of RBI from the Tigers’ top-four hitters on Tuesday night.

Up Next: Indians @ Tigers*

Eddie Bonine (2-1, 4.30) vs. Paul Byrd (3-10, 5.53)

*And I’ll be at Comerica Park to watch it.

The Score: Tigers 4 – Rockies 3

The Gist: Dane Sardinha tripled for his first big-league hit and drove in two runs to power the Tigers to a sweep of the Rockies. Kenny Rogers allowed three runs in six innings and raised his record to one above the .500 mark. Marcus Thames went 3 for 4 with an RBI.

The Quote: “Couldn’t hit the kid [Dolsi] and Jones, we got him last night, couldn’t get him today.” — Rockies manager Clint Hurdle

The Stat: 42. The number of hits for the Tigers in the three-game series.

Up Next: Tigers @ Twins

Armando Galarraga (7-2, 3.32) vs. Glen Perkins (4-2, 4.47)

*If you don’t get the headline reference, click here to read about another one-hit wonder. Well, sorta.

The Gist: Kenny Rogers pitched good enough to win — only if the offense provides nine runs, of course — and Marcus Thames hit a grand slam to lead the Tigers to a soggy on the outside, sunny on the inside, second-consectuive win over the Mariners, 9-4.

The Quote: “The political answer is I’m rooting for the guy who signs the checks.” — Pittsburgh-resident Jim Leyland on his rooting interest in the Stanley Cup Finals.

The Stat: 31. The number of hits the Tigers have collected in the past two games. They tallied 19 in the three-game weekend series against the Diamondbacks. Go figure.

My Two Cents: Yeah, yeah. The Tigers are thumping the Mariners. They also took the Rangers to the woodshed last month and that little roll didn’t last. If the offense continues to motor through the weekend series against the Twins, maybe I’ll be more optimistic.

Did you know…? The Tigers have yet to win on Sunday in the 2008 season? Yep, they’re 0 and 6. Counting tonight’s win, the Tigers are 6-2 on Wednesdays, by far their winningest day of the week.

The Gist: Tigers lose a slugfest, 12-6, to the Red Sox. Nate Robertson throws 107 pitches in 5.1 innings, gives up four earned runs — but strikes out 6. Go figure. Magglio Ordonez hit his first homer and drove in his first run of 2008.

The Quote: “Showing up every day isn’t enough. There are a lot of guys who show up who shouldn’t have showed up at all.” — James Caan, actor.

The Stats:

• 43: Robertson’s pitch count in the fourth inning alone.
• 22: The number of runners left on base by the Tigers.
• 12: Runners LOB by Detroit’s number-three through six hitters. (Marcus Thames had nearly half that many himself, 5.)

Up Next: Game 10 – Tigers at White Sox. Dontrelle Willis (0-0, 5.40) vs. Gavin Floyd (0-1, 4.50)

The Stat: 5. The number of men left on base by Gary Sheffield on Wednesday. Sheff must be channeling his inner Craig Monroe these days.

I’m Just Sayin’: This season has been so bizarre that it’s difficult to wrap the brain around it. Beyond the oh-fer start, the pitching has been sub-optimal and the hitting — oh, the hitting! But what in the world is happening when Placido Polanco starts, as Ian Casselberry said this evening, a new streak based on consecutive games with an error?

It’s been a while since Tigers fans hoped for a 2-7 record, but that’s the sitch tomorrow night.

“I have no problem with Todd Jones. None,” Leyland said. “He’s done an outstanding job, and he’s a heck of a pitcher.“But he’s such a perfectionist and competes so hard, what I think happens to him on occasion is that he outthinks himself. You try to pitch too carefully, it can backfire on you.”

Ahem.And this from the GM in the Freep:

“He’s our closer. He’s done a solid job for us. He’s pitched well at times. Other times, he hasn’t. He’s pitched very similarly to the way he did last year. He’s not your dominant-type closer, but we know what Todd is.”

Insert your own punchline. Or, better yet, don’t:

“It’s not fun to be the butt of everybody’s jokes,” Jones said Wednesday.

Will Jones be summoned from the ‘pen this afternoon? Yeah, probably. Settle in.How’s that for not writing about Todd Jones? Now, on to the Non-Sequiturs:

• Peter Pascarelli, the new host of ESPN’s Baseball Today Podcast, is a Tigers believer. He’s been on board for a while now and again this morning said he knows this Tigers have inquired about both Eric Gagne and Akinori Otsuka. Earlier this week he interviewed Leyland about the Tigers’ season so far. Check it out here.
• One other Pascarelli note, he said that if the Tigers get the bullpen together they could run away with the division.
• I don’t know about you but yesterday’s rainout was just what the Tigers needed to put the Tuesday nightmare behind them. Let’s see how they respond today. (Rod Allen just said the same thing on the telecast.)
• Remember in the winter of 2005-06 when Tigers fans were clamoring for Kevin Millwood? Remember, too, the outcry (I might have been the loudest) when the Tigers signed Kenny Rogers instead? So how’d that workout for both teams?
• Looking to buy the ugliest Detroit Tigers hat ever created? Here it is.
• I suppose I’m in the minority when it comes to the Tigers first base situation and its lack of pop. I know that the offense is clicking and all that but I’m sorry, one dinger from Sean Casey and six from Marcus Thames is unacceptable. Detroit hasn’t had a full-time power threat at first since the days of Cecil Fielder and Darrell Evans. (Apologies to Tony Clark.) Get Mark Teixeira, if not for this season then at least for the long haul and before the Yankees scoop him up. Here’s what Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal has to say about it:

Tigers: An obvious possibility, considering that the team ranks 11th in the American League in on-base/slugging percentage at first base. However, Sean Casey’s OPS is over .800 since his horrid April, Marcus Thames helps against lefties and Chris Shelton is performing decently at Class AAA.”Our offense is not a problem,” GM Dave Dombrowski, noting that the Tigers are on pace to set the all-time franchise record for runs scored. “I don’t think we would put resources into position players at this time. Our biggest need is the bullpen.”

• Question for you: Who gets an All Star Game invitation as a reserve: Gary Sheffield, Curtis Granderson or Carlos Guillen? One, two or all of the above?
• Another question: If the Tigers do take the plunge and shore up the bullpen via trade(s), who are you willing to give up for relief help? Nate Robertson? Craig Monroe (but of course)? Thames? Shelton? Omar Infante?

Finally, during the rain delay on Wednesday I had to endure the Monroe spotlight on FSN Detroit. Mike McClary enjoyed Craig Monroe talking about Craig Monroe in the third person. Mike McClary particularly enjoyed the segments of the show in which Monroe was wearing a Texas Rangers uniform.If only it weren’t six-year-old footage.