The Non Sequiturs Return: “Play Ball!” Edition

If you’ve been a long-time Daily Fungo reader, you know that I’ve posted a semi-regular series called The Non Sequiturs. More recently I’ve posted similar items under the Wednesday Walewanders banner (or Friday Fungoes, Three for Thursday, etc.). You may ask: What’s the difference? Truth is, there isn’t any. Just thought I’d come clean on that.

Without further ado, here are the first Non Sequiturs of the 2009 season powered, as usual, by a fresh pot of Peet’s Coffee:

• We have our first box score of 2009 for the Tigers. Enjoy it in all its linear glory.

• Did you catch the MLB Network’s “30 Clubs in 30 Days” program focused on the Tigers on Monday? (If you missed, catch it here.) I caught the West Coast replay and, like so many things related to the fledgling network, I was underwhelmed. I enjoyed the interviews, seeing Gary Sheffield‘s beard, watching Al Kaline say absolutely nothing interesting, etc., but if you’ve followed the Tigers even in the most casual way this offseason, chances are you learned nothing new.

  
  But, in the spirit of a positive mental outlook, I determined that these shows likely aren’t produced for the hardcore Tigers fan. They’re for everyone else. If I watch the episode on, say, the Marlins, I’ll probably learn a lot. In the end, the show was worth watching for these three nuggets:

  • Mitch Williams picking the Tigers to win the division.

  • Dan Plesac picking the Tigers again to finish last (this after raving about how great a manager Jim Leyland is).
  • Plesac somewhat butchering a nice attempt at complimenting Ernie Harwell‘s “he stood there like the house by the side of the road and watched that one go by.”

• Not that you care, but I’m booked for three Cactus League games next week in metro-Phoenix and in Tucson. Fungophile John Milton and our friend Steve will be coming to Arizona for games Friday (Indians/Brewers), Saturday (Giants/Rockies) and Sunday (Rockies/Padres).

  The Friday game is of interest mainly because it will be at the Indians’ new Spring Training facility in the middle of nowhere also known as Goodyear, Ariz. We also wanted to attend that game because, let’s face it, seeing the Indians 19 times against the Tigers this summer just isn’t going to be enough. Of course, the Saturday game will give us one more chance to boo Edgar Renteria at close range.

• Be sure you add Ian Casselberry‘s Morning Prowl at BlessYouBoys.com to your daily reading agenda. Ian reads it all, summarizes it neatly and we’re all the better for it. Now if only he’d do the same for The New York Times and ESPN.com…

• Happy 45th birthday to once-heralded Tigers catcher-o’-the-future Rich Rowland. After four partial season and 83 at bats with Detroit, he was dealt to the Red Sox for John Flaherty on April 1, 1994.

Finally, I stumbled on this gem from The Onion. It’s from 2007 but it’s still funny and, very likely, still relevant. Here’s the lede:

Following their game against the Twins Tuesday, Tigers outfielder Magglio Ordonez and second baseman Placido Polanco stayed in their hotel room all night, giddily discussing their favorite in-game hitting situations.